[GreesyBeeva]

Yea..I did it. I placed an add on a personal site. I wanted to ask this there but I fear a few women I have met might see my post and get their feelings hurt. But there seems to be a big difference between what I consider A few extra pounds and what some of the woman I have met consider a few extra pounds. I mean 5'2 and 300 lbs is more than a few extra pounds. The side is very limited as to body type...Thin, Athletic,Average, A few extra Pounds, and Big and Tall&BBW. ...the post is as follows

Would I be out of line if I added this to my profile....aside from personality for me and her I would like to be more in depth as to what I want physically in a woman just to be clear and avoid disappointments.
To be fair I have gone into my own body type to. There is just to much variance as to what one considers a few extra pounds and voluptuous
or just plain large, XXX large. One man or woman's average is another's
few extra pounds and another persons few extra pounds is another persons
way overweight. I just want to avoid all this so a we both know what we are getting. Its hard to say but it does matter to some people. If your going to be with someone they have to turn you on physically to at least to start.

" Now for the tough to say part. What I want physically in a woman.
5' to 5'8 I actually like a few extra lbs but thin is fine ( not bony though) 120-170 lbs..somewhere in there. Hair color or length don't matter although I favor brunettes.

Please don't think I'm shallow. I have a reason for the weight thing. I had an aunt who was quite heavy. By the time she got in her later 40s her health went downhill very fast due to her weight problem. To much junk food I think. By the time she was 55 she was in a wheelchair and bed ridden shortly there after and now she's with the lord. God bless her. I just couldn't bare to see this happen to my life partner. And that is my ultimate goal here. Otherwise, why bother.

Me..I am 5"11 197 lbs Most of the extra lbs are in my torso though I'm told I carry it well due to broad shoulders. But yea, I have a gut. My X called me Bear. I have fairly short feathered Brown hair and Blue eyes. "


What do you guys think ???

[engideNedmupe]

No reason why you can't say what you want. I don't consider it shallow at all. You like a smaller women. Plain and simple. No one should feel offended if they aren't what you want.

[lkastonidwedsrer]

I wouldn't even bother with your explanation on why the weight limit.

Seriously though, Women have an issue with it. I hear this all the time. They post a picture of their face and say they are a little heavy. Then when you see them they are monsters.
Having your weight limit in there is just fine imo. Makes it so that you don't get that heavy set people replying to you. Sure they may not like it, but that isn't you who are looking for! The people that are in your range that see that, I am sure wouldn't have an issue with it. I am sure that they too are not wanting to find some heavy guy show up at their table saying their name.



Good luck with the online dating. It is surprising at how many of these things actually work out. Heck, I know someone who even got a mail order basically from the Philippine's and they honestly love each other.

[GreesyBeeva]

I wouldn't even bother with your explanation on why the weight limit.

Seriously though, Women have an issue with it. I hear this all the time. They post a picture of their face and say they are a little heavy. Then when you see them they are monsters.
Having your weight limit in there is just fine imo. Makes it so that you don't get that heavy set people replying to you. Sure they may not like it, but that isn't you who are looking for! The people that are in your range that see that, I am sure wouldn't have an issue with it. I am sure that they too are not wanting to find some heavy guy show up at their table saying their name.



Good luck with the online dating. It is surprising at how many of these things actually work out. Heck, I know someone who even got a mail order basically from the Philippine's and they honestly love each other.

Yea..I was thinking the same thing. About not including the My Aunt part. If a woman is to large they just dont turn me on. It is part of chemistry and you have to be actually atracted to the person to for things to go beyond the initial meeting. Thats why I go into more about myself to. So they arn't dissapointed. Why lie if your realy planning on meeting people.

My best friend met a woman from China on a local site believe it or not. They wrote for a year and he took her a ring. Now she is here and they are very happy.

[Poowssnople]

Seriously though, Women have an issue with it. I hear this all the time. They post a picture of their face and say they are a little heavy. Then when you see them they are monsters.

Yeah. A girl I know lists her weight as lightly overweight. She's bigger than I am. Why can't people just be honest?

[GreesyBeeva]

Yeah. A girl I know lists her weight as lightly overweight. She's bigger than I am. Why can't people just be honest?

I am sure you know. People here arn't stupid at all. But its simple realy. Thay are afraid that someone wont be willing to meet them if they know the truth. Maybe they fugure they at least hvae a chance. But it does defeat the purpose because when you meet the jig is up. Might as well be honest from the start and then someone will have a real chance. I know there is a fine line that is open to so much debate
its not even funny. But how can someone be 5'2" and 300lbs and say they are a "Few Extra Pounds" ? Thats what I got the last time. She is such a nice (actualy a knockout ,pretty if she cut it in half) person but there is definately no spark. I agreed to be friends and she realy got to like me as much more then a friend then I had to back away and felt terrible. i left it open to friendship though of course.
Good friends are sometimes much harder to find then lovers. But this whole circumstance could be avoided if people would just be honest. I still would have been glad to meet her in a friendly sense.

I realy tried, I figured give it a chance and maybe I'll feel something. I never dated a real heavy girl before. One night I said, OK,,we can cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. You know..nothing serious. Just closeness. She was crushing me. I'm serious. It was cold out and I was sweating my arse off.

Maaaaann !!

[Lhiistyssdds]

You don't need to give a reason for the limit... in fact:

- having your own standards and expressing them honestly makes you more attractive to women & they will pick up on it in your profile.

- explaining that standard, trying not to offend anyone, makes you appear needy, which is a turn-off.

... this is coming from a MPUA (and if you know what that means, then you're really going to get somewhere )

[AlexBolduin]

I thought the whole idea of these dating sites was to describe yourself, and the type of men/women your interested in as you physically cannot see each other? There's nothing wrong with what you wrote. Its personal preference.

[GreesyBeeva]

A friend of mine had the plan. He said join a better site. Some sites go into much more detail when you sign up as to who you are and what your looking for thus aliviating any guilt or need for an explanation.

[BalaGire]

i agree with crowhorse, you are giving waay too much explanation. Just say something tactful like you prefer "atheletic" women. afaik, saying you want atheletic type or "active" means you are interested in girls who are reasonably fit. That's all you need to say.

[pongeystrhjst]

What he said ^^^^^^^

[GreesyBeeva]

Thanks guys. I am greatfull for your opinions. [thumbup]

[duribass]

Just out this as your profile pic;



Pictures speak louder than words.

Nothing wrong with stating your preferences, just keep it simple and don't venture into essay territory.