[zilsolley3]

Muffin's only telling you, you need to do what you know is ahead of you.

Don't let us be the crutch that keeps you from telling your husband. Things may not go the way you want them to, but this is a beginning of it all. No lies, no deception.

He has a right to know, and make a decision. I think you will do what is right from what I've read in your posts.

[carpartsho]

Quote:

[pBiRXp8u]

Guilty you are always welcomed here and should feel free to post anytime. I believe anyone with the courage to post and open up should be allowed. Being one of both cheater and cheated upon, I searched for quite some time for a place to get answers. I went through many stages, from justifier, to denial. I took some major bashing, but I believe that God directed me to this site in order for me to get the real help I needed.

I took steps in my marriage, heeding advice I was given on this forum. Telling my spouse did open up the lines of communication. It was difficult, one of the most painful conversations I've ever had. We are still together, but it's difficult. Nothing is ever resolved over night. This entire process has taught me alot about myself. I still struggle on a daily basis hoping that my decision to stay was the right one. I didn't want to stay for my children, I wanted to stay because I knew I was with the person I should be. Finding our way back into Love is not easy. In the end the decisions that you make will be the ones you will have to live with. Take the steps that you need. Unfortunitly, nothing you can do will make the moment of disclosure any easier or less painful for your spouse or yourself. Be honest to him and yourself. Best of luck to you.

[Knillagrarp]

thanks for the words of encouragement. this site has saved me from a lot of agony. as i searched the web, i found many websites that are intended to make people who cheat feel better and believe that cheating happens all the time. those are not the type of words that i wanted to hear. i recognize that i was wrong and this site has supported what i know is right. i have taken some bashing but i think that the intent from everyone is to help me and my marriage. i DO want to tell my husband but i am so afraid of what it will do to him. a couple of months ago i saw such sadness in him and it is something that i cant get out of my head. i also am afraid of what it will do to my relationship with my kids - they are young adults and will find out what happened. although i understand that i was wrong and that i need to suffer the consequences, i am scared of what my actions will do to the people i most love.

i know that i will tell my husband eventually and that the longer i wait, the worse and more difficult it will be..i pray to God every night to help me through this situation. i thank everyone for their input - i don't see it as bashing, i see it as feedback from people who have been there and are helping me with seeing my husbands viewpoint. God knows i should have thought about that before i went to bed with the om.

i dont want to hurt anyone with my posts. i think i have hurt enough people already. i will continue here and will be careful with what i write. i really want to be able to come here and get some support/input from everyone when i tell my husband.

[carpartsho]

Guilty, don't allow yourself to censor what you think or write. That is the only way you are going to be able to see all of your husband's side of everything. Even if it stings us for a short time, it is to your family's benefit to see how it affects others. It will help you to see the next step in your journey. If something you say affects us negatively or there is a side you have not considered, you will get the feedback you need. Please post you true thoughts and feelings, it will be to your benefit.

[zilsolley3]

Don't know if I'm the only one who views Who's online, but I counted 38 guests viewing threads. Non signed up. Wonder why?

I've been watching this number for a few days.

If you are a guest viewing and are a victim of cheating, sign up and join us. We will try to help and certainly will listen.

There is always strength in numbers. Your not alone.

[Knillagrarp]

skirt, i viewed this website for about a month before i posted. i wasnt sure if i wanted to post but i was getting a lot of good insight from the site. if someone needs help - whether they are a cheater or a victim, i would encourage them to post. i wasnt sure how people were going to react to me but its been a wonderful experience and its helped me very much with my problems. if nothing else, being able to talk to someone about what is eating me up inside has made me feel a little better. i also am getting good feedback.

[zilsolley3]

Guilty you were one of the exceptions to the rule. I'm glad you came here.

But for those cheaters who can't take a deserved hacking and or coming on this site to justify their deeds, I have only disgust for them.

If one truly wants to stop the cheating they can. I think your proof of that. But so many won't stop or don't care, or Lie. So otherwise I'll stick with defending the victims.

Others may feel differently here, that's just my opinion.

[arcaniagainee]

skirt I also viewed the forum for a short time before I decided to join as well as knowing what your spouse has done is real hard but having others knowing and viewing your life is kind of hard to put into writing. I did decide to join one day and did tell my story and I have never regretted it as this forum helped me out a lot as I finally found out I wasnt alone and there were others going through the same stuff I was.

[bestworkother]

Quote:

[bestworkother]

Quote:

[carpartsho]

Quote:

[zilsolley3]

Quote:

[Knillagrarp]

muffin, did you want me to stop posting here? as you can tell, i am here almost everyday...trying to get myself together and do the right thing but i have to do things at my pace and i have to get the courage also. if my being here is hurting others, i will stop posting. and, NO, i dont want to go to the other websites. i have been to them and didnt like their philosophy.