[soajerwaradaY]

ok everyone knows that a cheater cheats because they think it's morally acceptable in their situation. to make it obvious, think of the most morally unacceptable actions... killing someone, or raping someone. Only sociopaths commit these actions from anger, misery, or entitlement. Nothing new here.

So my new theory is stronger--> that male cheaters are sociopaths or woefully ignorant. HPV can result in cervical cancer, is not testable, and cannot be protected against except by abstinence (happened with my sister during a 'safe' fling with her friend, but hopefully it's all cut out now). Male cheaters are either ignorant of these facts, or are driven to GAMBLE THEIR SPOUSE's LIFE out of anger, misery, or entitlement. Please dump the sociopaths, and if you have a husband that you have allowed to be ignorant of the gamble he is taking, I guess that's the new evolution, and your genes will be weeded out eventually.

Also, no pity for those who ignored the warning signs. You only have one life, it's your choice if you don't protect it. I've never been cheated on because I call a reliable PI at the most remote possibility. And still get tested for std's every year just in case. The first step in prevention is acknowledging that it can happen. I've never cheated on H cause he's almost as smart as me

And it doesn't hurt that he knows that if I would find something, it's a free pass for me to relive MFM with biguys. There is nothing like multiple men servicing you to get in a better mood. And from what I hear, nothing like picturing your wife with a few guys licking out her pussy and kissing each other to get men out of the mood. Three cheers for the new evolution!

[AngelinaTheElf]

After that post, I feel like I just slammed a couple of oxycontins and chased it with a Jameson's!!

[steevyjeors]

Wash your mouth out with soap !!

[soajerwaradaY]

thx for the vote of confidence in my theory. i'm really surprised that infidelity is so common in these days of std's. of course, kids shooting each other with guns is more common too. and suicide. and other ignorant avoidable practices. as a previous researcher/physicist now in ele dev, i think our society is unforgivable to devote so much intellectual talent to hard sciences/engr, but sociology and psychology has all this untapped potential and attracts flaky methodologists and no govt funding. Finally read about a new field 'positive psychology' in NYTimes the other day, maybe our culture can still catch up to the rapid increases in mobility/information flow/individuality. Did I use enough slashes?

[DoctoBuntonTen]

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[steevyjeors]

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[soajerwaradaY]

Wow Markus, someone's pissed i caught his bs on "can any men NOT stray". Cause I'm reasonable and want more people to read my post, I'll respond like you're actually trying to have a conversation, rather than spam.

I think female cheaters are just as bad, it's just LESS likely they'll kill their spouse if they pay attention to the condom, the HPV stuff just makes it more likely they'll kill THEMSELVES w/out regular checkups. I'm a feminist (which means I have corresponding standards for both genders, taking into account physical differences).

The 'rambling' was a not-so-concise support of my point that most of the cheaters out there are some stupid-4ss mother(or father)f*ckers. STDs are just weeding out the dumb4sses.

Finallly, is it cheating when your partner agrees?

[gopsbousperie]

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[soajerwaradaY]

aw markus why'd you leave?

and i just reread my last post... the rambling was more a comment on the sad state of affairs in our culture (advances are all understanding the technological, not so much understanding sociological changes). But in the wake of the former we see extended family breaking down as people move more, religion and superstition being replaced by existentialism and logic, the fall of the community and rise of the urban jungle, etc..... we've seen weaker, replacable relationships, a value vacuum, and less accountability to our peers. And 'positive psychology' is the only movement I've seen to really try to counter some of these negative changes. The first time some of my students (I tutor and used to teach too) really question what they are living for, and what their personal responsibility is, is in their first philosophy course in undergrad. If they're lucky.

And I blame lack of value education for parents who refuse to educate themselves (about gun safety), those don't think of their loved ones and community when 'ending it all', and wandering spouses who 'forget' about stds.

And one of the reasons I'm posting is to find someone who thinks similarly, or has a good challenge for me, but this forum is so entertaining it's ok that I probably won't find that.

I'd like to hear from the very senior generation if midlife crises were more or less prevalent before the industrial revolution. Well I suppose this still beats last century when baffled husbands took their 'hysterical' wives to the doctor to be masturbated!

[gopsbousperie]

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[soajerwaradaY]

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[arindiruppya]

[quote=ironyrulz]ok everyone knows that a cheater cheats because they think it's morally acceptable in their situation. to make it obvious, think of the most morally unacceptable actions... killing someone, or raping someone. Only sociopaths commit these actions from anger, misery, or entitlement. Nothing new here.

So my new theory is stronger--> that male cheaters are sociopaths or woefully ignorant. HPV can result in cervical cancer, is not testable, and cannot be protected against except by abstinence (happened with my sister during a 'safe' fling with her friend, but hopefully it's all cut out now). Male cheaters are either ignorant of these facts, or are driven to GAMBLE THEIR SPOUSE's LIFE out of anger, misery, or entitlement.

This is not a new theory.. Many on here have known this for a long time.

Please dump the sociopaths, and if you have a husband that you have allowed to be ignorant of the gamble he is taking, I guess that's the new evolution

I do not ALLOW my partner to do anything. He is an adult and therefore responsible for his own behaviour. He of course was well aware of the gamble he was taking; my only fault was being secure enough in my love for him and his in me, to be so trusting that it never entered my head that he would take this gamble.

and your genes will be weeded out eventually.[/color]

This is the most harsh of all your statement. For those of us who believe in oldfashioned trust, fidelity, and the honouring of vows we do NOT want our genes "weeded out". It is NOT wrong to believe in and live by these beliefs. If living by these beliefs results in us being cheated on, then it is not because we "allowed" our partners to be ignorant of the gamble, it is because their genes are flawed, and these are the genes that need to be "weeded" out.

Also, no pity for those who ignored the warning signs. You only have one your choice if you don't protect it.

Often there are no warning signs. You cannot generalise and group every person that has been cheated on. And if when you do find out, you stay ? This is people working on their relationships for a number of reasons; the children; because their vows mean that it is not an option to leave; that to some people forgiveness is an option; that they love the person who has cheated on them, and believe that people can change..

Then I've never been cheated on because I call a reliable PI at the most remote possibility. And still get tested for std's every year just in case. The first step in prevention is acknowledging that it can happen. I've never cheated on H cause he's almost as smart as me

I personally could not live like this. I am currently working on forgiveness with my partner and we are working hard together to build on our relationship. If I thought for one moment that I would be hiring PI's and getting testing for STD's every year from here on, I would be gone in the blink of an eye.

And it doesn't hurt that he knows that if I would find something, it's a free pass for me to relive MFM with biguys. There is nothing like multiple men servicing you to get in a better mood. And from what I hear, nothing like picturing your wife with a few guys licking out her pussy and kissing each other to get men out of the mood. Three cheers for the new evolution![/QUOTE]

This made me laugh because not knowing you, I think that this was said tongue in cheek ?

On the serious side, it's one thing letting them think that and another thing actually doing it. Personally ? I would never revenge cheat, be it with one man or three.. Reason ? Because I DO believe in fidelity and to lower myself to this, would be to compromise my beliefs and values.

Tilly

[arindiruppya]

Posting on this site is such a blast with so many closed minded but opinionated ppl makin me look good [/quote]

I would hope that I am not closed minded or opinionated

For those that you think this applies to, then you really do need to read their full stories..

For those living every day with the knowledge of what their partners have done: For those living every day in a loveless marriage for the sake of their children: For those who are too ill at the moment to find the strength to leave.. Damn right they are closed minded and opinionated on infidelity..

Tilly

[soajerwaradaY]

Thank you so much for your input Tilly. I've noticed that most people recovering from WS on this site share at least a mild version of this theory. I should really have put this on a website geared towards cheaters or the general public.. if you have any in mind let me know. And I do have experience on both sides of the cheating coin from over a decade ago with xbf's. And I'm on this site to prevent it in my marriage.

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[soajerwaradaY]

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[soajerwaradaY]

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[herbalviagra]

People are not idiots. Geez, typical elitist!

My husband (and I dare say 99% of cheaters) know the physical risks as well as the risks of losing it all (family, friends, respect, maybe a career) and they still do it. Its not like these people are ignorant. Do you think Bill Clinton didn't know the risks?

I had many discussions over the years with my husband on the effects of cheating on society, children, extended family....

You are so condenscending.

You act like we got cheated on because we never had a basic discussion with our spouses.

You ever think the cheaters cheat because of the thrill of it? They like taking risks.

How many people on here had their spouses say "I never thought I would get caught"? Same mentality you have when you drink and drive, or speed, or cheat on a test.

[Pwy9egVW]

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[gopsbousperie]

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[gopsbousperie]

BTW, no interest in Your sex life other than you being a teacher or tutor I believe you said.

I agree with Marcus, You rabble on. I'm not impressed.