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06-04-2007, 01:31 AM
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#1 |
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 Tech rule #7: Be as vague as possible
Some things about my job seriously get on my tits, or they would if I had tits, but then again if I had tits I'd never leave my bedroom. Anyway, the 7th rule of technical work is "Be as vague as possible". This is not a rule for the techy, but rather the people after help.
The technician by his (or her) very nature is an inquisitive animal. If you want your PC fixing, be sure to leave it on his desk with no name, contact number or description of the problem, we love a good mystery! We are also psychic. You may not think it, but we are. We are the next stage of human evolution. So when calling us for help or support simply mutter something like "It's broken" or "The thing keeps getting stuck". The rest of the required information we will pull directly from your mind. The number you are thinking of is 28! We are also familiar with every PC ever produced, so if you need help with your Olivetti DX4987 Model 43A we can instantly recall that that model had a bug with the BIOS that drains the life-force from your children and gives Bill Gates an Erection. If in doubt, repeat what you said, but in a slightly different order. It's hard to believe I know, but "I can't get on the internet since coming back off holiday" makes far less sense than "Since coming back off holiday, I can't get on the internet". Why didn't you say so, it's blatently an over-abundance of cheese in your modem! It's important to remember that all PC's are infact the same, identical you might say. So if you need more memory or a new graphics card it's a simple as walking in and saying "I need memory" or "I need a bigger graphics card". Don't be fooled if some techno-babble about "What kind of memory?" or "Do you have AGP or PCI-Express" these are all terms designed to fiddle you out of money! If asked simply state "It's for my computer!" and the assistant will be so overcome with awe at your technical knowledge they'll likely give you it all free! We are also the source of all knowledge, we know everything about everything and then some. If you have a problem with your Casio Camcorder you bought from Thailand and lost the manual, or if you can't install the latest Distro of Mctabbeths Uber Linux V4.666 on your 1989 286 PC, we know all there is to know on the subject without need for research. It doesn't matter if we sell it or not If we claim to have no experience of the hardware/software involved, don't buy it! Get angry and question our technical know-how, we'll be so excited by the challange we'll instantly solve your problem and cure your back-ache. /rant |
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06-04-2007, 01:36 AM
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#2 |
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06-04-2007, 01:36 AM
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#3 |
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06-04-2007, 01:42 AM
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#4 |
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You wanna know what really bugs me? Over zealous techies that look down on the poor Luddites and think that they are stupid, kidding! On a serious note you really have to understand that the level of knowledge that the average person has about technology is, shall we say, limited.
Most people honestly don't know the difference between AGP, PCI-express, regular PCI, megabytes, gigabytes etc... and I don't think it would do the world any good if they did know that stuff. Besides if everyone knew what you know about computers then why would they need you? Breaking computers is their job, fixing computers is your job. On a side note, you seem to really hate people. Have you ever considered that a position in a customer service type of environment might not be for you? |
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06-04-2007, 01:53 AM
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#5 |
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On a side note, you seem to really hate people. Have you ever considered that a position in a customer service type of environment might not be for you? It really does turn even the most sociable people person into a snarling, cynical hate-filled creature. Well, maybe not hate-filled, but you really do get fed up with them after a while. Seriously, I was once the manager in a fairly large PC store, located next to Argos (a large retail chain for those who don't know) And one day, a lady ambled in and asked if we had an Argos catalogue! Quite why she didn't go next door is beyond me. |
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06-04-2007, 02:46 AM
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#6 |
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Ever worked in a customer facing support job? |
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06-04-2007, 03:03 AM
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#7 |
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I've worked in face-to-face tech support for about 6 years now, I'm a very patient person but my nature is slowly changing.
I don't hate people, well, I do, but not for the reasons people think. I hate that I'm there trying to help these people, I go out of my way to do the best I can for them but consistantly I'm faced with an impassible wall of ignorance and arrogance. It's a sad fact in the UK that people have an "Ignorant and Proud" attitude, they wear their stupidity out there for all to see like it's a badge of honour. It's frustrating because I spend half my day chasing people up because they give me wrong information or no information at all and then I get my head bitten off for my trouble. Example: A lady brought a PC in for her friend this morning, when asked what was wrong she said "I don't know, it don't work". So I asked for her friends contact number which she gave me. I tried from 11am to 4pm (every 45 minutes or so) to ring this mobile number without success. No answer or answerphone. At 5pm I got a call from the lady asking if her PC was ready, I told her we'd been trying to contact her to find out what was wrong but weren't able to. Her reply was "What do you mean? I spoke to you guys in January because my PC was really slow and I couldn't burn DVD's, Can't you remember anything? I suppose you'll be telling me it's not going to be ready today aren't you? ****'s sake why do I waste my time?". So I get a PC with no information as to the fault, a contact number I can't get hold of anyone on and it's a problem we hadn't heard anything about for over a month but it's MY FAULT it won't be done the SAME DAY it's dropped in. Yes, I get sarcastic and patronising at times, never to customers mind you, but the job is frustrating as hell and being chewed out for trying to help ignorant arogant people. So I guess I'm over-zealous. On the flip side, I built a PC for an old gent who's been coming to us for years today and he bought me a bottle of whiskey to thank me for all the help I gave him (I convinced the manager not to charge him for a repair on his old PC because we were building him a new one). That was really a nice spot for today (Even though I don't drink). |
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06-04-2007, 03:20 AM
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#8 |
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While I understand that the average person doesn't know anything. It would be nice if they could repeat any error message to you, or get a screen shot of the error message if possible. that would help alot.
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06-04-2007, 03:26 AM
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#9 |
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My over zealous comment was just a joke. I know it can be very frustrating to work with people especially in a field where 90% of the people that come to you for help have about 0% knowledge of the subject at hand. I guess I didn't take into account the "ignorant but proud" factor that you describe which does make a lot of sense but trust me it isn't just the UK that has people like that the US has its fair share too.
I think it more comes down to the fact that the average person would always have somewhat of a sense of paranoia because after all, they know very little about what your doing so they feel vulnerable which could make them more prone to snap and less prone to consider your feelings. Although that still doesn't make treating your computer tech guy like dirt any better. |
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06-04-2007, 04:02 AM
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#10 |
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I really enjoy your posts Hexus. Because I empathise with you, and because you've got a way of putting those frustrations into eloquent paragraphs I couldn't manage to conjure myself.
It isn't that we hate the customers, it's that the customers inherently hate us. [sarcasm] Looking at some of my co-workers, it's impossible to discern why.  [/sarcasm]
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06-04-2007, 04:31 AM
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#11 |
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06-04-2007, 04:48 AM
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#12 |
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No wonder you get so cross |
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07-03-2007, 08:25 AM
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#13 |
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Alergic to alchol, if I drank enough to get drunk it'd kill me. But then I don't like the taste anyway [yes] 
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