[Xibizopt]

VOCABULARY SPIN

For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity....


1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to start speaking?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?

[Zs3ZASpA]

lol I laughed.

[EzequielTMann]

lol, at number 5.

[ThisIsOK]

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? Evolution does not mean the extinction of those that we evolved from. We basically took different paths and thus needed to evolve into different creatures.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions? No one would notice, as the meaning of "hypothetical question" would never have ever existed.

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If they are also mute, and swearing in sign language, the mother would most likely either ignore it or smack his hands. If they actually speak the words, then she might wash his mouth out (or simply smack him).

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? No, it would be suicide.

10. Is there another word for synonym? Not a single word, but you can use "Similar Word."

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Depends on what they enjoy. If they are big on the forests, then they can go to a forest without worrying about doing their jobs. Possibly a different forest than what they are used to, just so they can see places they aren't used to.

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? Let them be.

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? The can garnish his wages just as much as they can anyone else; the occupation doesn't matter.

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? No, it would still be a fly, just deformed or mutilated.

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? They do this so that people will buy something at their gas stations.

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? It would be seriously injured, and possibly dead, as the shell is attached to their skeleton.

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? I don't see why not.

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to start speaking? They would read him the same rights as anyone else.

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? They already make the keypads, and it would cost more if you produced separate keypads without Braille.

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs? They don't.

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread? That's subjective. The "best thing" is not something that can be defined.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? I believe in the Disney cartoon, she war shells.

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? I doubt most infants really enjoy infancy. They can't do anything and have to wait for their parents to change diapers, feed them, etc.

25. How is it possible to have a civil war? When they refer to civil, they are referring to the citizens or those that live in the area where the fighting is occurring. The civilians do a lot of the fighting.

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? I think the other swimmers would react quickly and prevent such a thing from happening.

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? That would depend on the person and the portions. If they are full portions, then I think people in general would have trouble eating the entire thing.

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Then you have failed.

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it? http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?...earchmode=none

The word appears to be of Germanic origins.

30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"? http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?...earchmode=none

31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? It's called tourist season because it is the season when the most tourists visit.

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? That's because sour cream goes bad over time.

33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented? That would probably depend on the person, but I doubt three times would be enough for most people.

[iceleliewBync]

They do this so that people will buy something at their gas stations.

At least in urban areas, they do this so that homeless people don't live in them. My father owned a gas station for several years and he had a huge problem with homeless people defiling the bathrooms, using the sinks for bathing, using the bathrooms to do drugs and even sleeping in them overnight so on went the locks.

[TyncTyncSah]

Very funny post

You fail

[sam]

You fail

Not really , he is a LOT funnier then you... i must say [rolleyes]