[Les Allen]

One of my best friends just died. He was freshman at Yale. Just about a week ago I talked to him about microfiche plates and programming in Python and now he's gone. They don't know how he died yet, some think it was a suicide, but I refuse to believe that.

He was one of the coolest kids I've ever met, friendly to everyone, could always make anyone smile and I'm not exaggerating. Also incredibly bright. Liked to play the guitar. I was looking forward to seeing him again this summer and now I know that won't be possible.

I don't know how to handle this. I feel absolutely awful and am crying right now. So I feel pitiful too, wondering if that's normal or just pathetic. Does anyone here have any experience with this. Please no jokes.

It's totally normal.

[DF9sLGSU]

My condolences, HC.

[BartRonalds]

HC, my condolences.

Your reaction is normal.

The typical phases of grieving are:
(varies from person to person and the closeness of the person you lost)
- stunned disbelief
- pain, intense
- anger at being abandoned or sometimes a feeling of being abandoned (sometimes but not always and not for all people)
- a gradual coming to terms with the loss

The process can take months (depending on closeness of relations)

[lLianneForbess]

It is completely normal.

This may not be the best place for this sort of thing, but we're here to listen to you, and help, if we can.

EDIT: "this" meaning an internet forum full of jackanapes and scoundrels, not the internet in general.

[detskpit]

Sorry. Whatever problems he had are over now. I'll say a prayer.

[AK47rulz]

Sounds like a good person. My condolences, HC.

[wllsqyuipknczx]

Thank you all for your condolences. It really does mean a lot to me. Seriously.

I feel like sharing this story, perhaps it will make me feel better. I think you all will find it amusing regardless:


This is a picture of us at the christmas tree in front of the Capitol over christmas break 2010. Zach's the one in the yellow jumpsuit on the far left. I'm the person in the white coat he's grabbing. It was absolutely freezing and Zach was wearing one of his usual crazy outfits. The guy never dressed normally. Ever. And he always had a blonde afro. He's the only guy I knew that could pull it off. At any rate, he wasn't wearing anything under the ski jumpsuit except his boxers. So when we had to go through the metal detector at the National Archives, they made him take off his coat to put in the scanner...and hilarity ensued. He got to run around the national archives in his underwear.

That's pretty much what he was like all the time. Didn't care a bit if other people thought he was weird, so in the end, everyone liked him. Hard to believe he's gone.

Before reading the story underneath, I knew which one was the friend in question. I am truly sorry for your loss.

[Mjxhnapi]

I am sorry for your loss HC.

This kind of thing takes time to heal. Take your time as well.

[JJoon077]

My condolences.

[MasTaBlau]

I never gets easy. I've lost three great friends, one just a few month ago. It's ok to grieve. And like others have stated, a few tears are not a sign of weakness.
I got through it by remembering all the good times. (like the example in your photo/story) It's ok to miss them. Time will help to lessen the loss. Do something to honor them.
I remember for one of my best friends, we had a lot of traveling adventures together. Especially by car. He was such a crazy nut that we called them mad toad thrill rides.
After his funeral, his wife gave me his ashes and on the way to the after gathering I took a detour and did one last thrill ride with him. It really helped me.

Good luck.

[Xzmwskxn]

My condolences HC

[DexOnenlyCymn]

I'm still confident that my friend did not kill himself. He died at 2pm in a lab (I think physics). Today he would have flown down to texas to ride in one of Nasa's zero-g planes. He kept telling me how much he was looking forward to it.

They're doing an autopsy. We'll see what happened. I refuse to believe that he killed himself. He was always cheerful and could enjoy anything, and I know it wasn't all a mask.

Still upset but feeling better today. Thinking about other things helps.

[boxcigsnick]

Sorry you're going through something so horrible HC. Condolences.

[QqJamxqP]

Brunt was found dead in a physics lab on the sixth floor of Josiah Willard Gibbs Laboratories Wednesday afternoon. His body was taken for an autopsy at the state medical examiner’s office, which said Thursday afternoon that Brunt died by “asphyxia due to exclusion of oxygen” and ruled his death a suicide.

Unbelievable. Makes me sick just reading that. I don't feel guilty at all though, like MikeH suggested I might. There's no way anyone could have expected he would do this. No danger signs, no reason to believe he was anything other than a happy, bright Yale student. Doesn't make any ****ing sense.

This is awful.

[NowFloabDow]

Really sorry HC.

[WFSdZuP3]

My high school friends (all of whom are mutual friends of Zach, and most of whom are in the picture) are all meeting home in Fairfax this weekend. I can't go, unfortunately. Most are just driving north from colleges in Virginia, but one is flying all the way from Tucson. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who can't go ( ), but they're gonna see if they can Skype me in somehow with a webcam. Not the same, but it's the best I can do. At this point I've heard from everyone but Zach's girlfriend at Virginia Tech, but she is with her mother so I know she will be OK.

I feel better now. Still hurts whenever I am reminded of him. Turns out, under very unique circumstances, Arrested Development can be un-funny.

[Mymnnarry]

I feel better now. Still hurts whenever I am reminded of him. Turns out, under very unique circumstances, Arrested Development can be un-funny.

I know you're grieving now, but don't say things you'll regret later.

[BoBoMasterDesign]

Given the time of year, I'm sure the stresses of a tough school away from home took their toll.

[mymnarorump]

Good to hear that HC. Like I said, feel free to write me whenever.

[enurihent]

Get the **** out of my thread, Ben. Peace and blessings, HC. Like I said I've been through the wringer myself. Take care!