[Liabmeasez]

Istikhara the prayer of Guidance is a prayer through which you ask Allah to tell you whether the intended action you want to take is either beneficial or harmful for you right...now what i wanted to know is that if something is not right for you Allah somehow keeps you away from it, ok cool...but i heard that you are satisfied with that decision and you see the other side of it which you could before...but what if you do istikhara and You get a feeling that its good for you but things happen which are opposite of how you felt and all and yet you aren't like satisfied even when you know that whatever Allah has chosen for you is for your own good...how do you solve this now? come out of the dilemma? I mean a feeling which said its good, but things happened which worked as obstacles and kept you away but you should be satisfied in the end yet you aren't?

[VioletttaJosetta]

Istikhara the prayer of Guidance is a prayer through which you ask Allah to tell you whether the intended action you want to take is either beneficial or harmful for you right...now what i wanted to know is that if something is not right for you Allah somehow keeps you away from it, ok cool...but i heard that you are satisfied with that decision and you see the other side of it which you could before...but what if you do istikhara and You get a feeling that its good for you but things happen which are opposite of how you felt and all and yet you aren't like satisfied even when you know that whatever Allah has chosen for you is for your own good...how do you solve this now? come out of the dilemma? I mean a feeling which said its good, but things happened which worked as obstacles and kept you away but you should be satisfied in the end yet you aren't?

You are not satisfied because of your own whims and desires. You prayed istikhara and the prayer includes that you will accept the outcome. Trust in Allah - He knows the bigger picture - not you. Feelings and desires can be deceptive especially for us mere mortals who have very limited knowledge and hardly ever get the bigger picture.

My husband is feeling just the same as you right now. For a long time he tried to turn a blind eye to all the obstacles coming in the way of our endeavour (buying a particular house) and making excuses for it to continue. Last night he finally accepted that he knows in his heart that the istikhara is clearly showing this endeavour is problematic and we are trying to pull out now and he said he is devastated. Today he says he is still feeling unhappy and upset. I know the reason for this is that he is obssessed with this house. I told him 4 weeks ago that the signs are all there - one thing after another - it's not going our way. But because he so much wanted it to happen he wouldn't let go and now it is really tricky for us to get out of it at this late stage, when he finally accepted he can't pull the wool in front of his eyes any longer. He is looking at things from a very wordly point of view. He is looking at all the time, effort and money that he has already spent in this endeavour. He is looking at having to go through the whole rigmarole, time, effort into looking for a new place, especially when the type of house we want has been very diificult to find in the first place. All this is just the material aspect of things.

This line of thinking is not really leaving room for God in the whole picture. He also is not in a frame of mind to focus on how we should accept what is happening and be assured that Allah will give us something better in return - after all we asked for Allah's specific help and guidance in the first place. We asked Allah to turn this house away from us if it was not beneficial for us and to make it easy for us if it was - so whilst it is natural to feel upset about losing something that we really want and which seems just right for us, we should be grateful that Allah has guided us. We should be happy to receive a response to our dua. I am actually relieved that we are not going to continue with something that Allah has decided is not for our benefit, no matter how disappointed I am at the personal level at the seeming "loss". The loss is actually our benefit - we may not see or understand how - but we put our trust in Allah because He knows the aparent and the hidden.

And in our case - we made istikhara for the same house 2 years ago and we didn't get it then (not through our decisions but how events turned out) - I was satisfied (though sad) then as well but my husband wasn't and the only reason he "accepted" the outcome was because there was nothing we could do about it - he really wanted the house and it was he who nearly two years later saw that the house was back on the market because he kept on periodically checking on it. First I flat out refused to see the house again because I trusted in the outcome of the istikhara we had done in the first place. But because of his dissatisfaction at the outcome of the first istikhara he started saying things like well maybe we are meant to get it after all and Allah has made it come to our attention again for this reason - "yeah maybe" I thought "or you never let go of your obssession in the first place and this is a test for you now." In the end after bribing me lots and on condition that we would do istikhara again if we still like it we went for it. After obstacles started cropping up - from the get go - I would immediately tell him each time to pull the plug because deep down I still accepted the first istikhara and even though I love the house and it is perfect for us, my heart wasn't in it because of the first istikhara. Well , he being the decision-maker and me starting to think maybe I wasn't giving the house a fair chance this time round led to us just continuing. Now 4 months later in what should have been a quick and straightforward endeavour, even my obssessed husband agrees we should pull the plug on it.

If only he had been satified with the decision the first time around! It would have saved us a lot of trouble, and now because we are so far along in the process, (and he is devastated about giving it up ergo still obssessed ) I am worried that he will be weak and just continue with it when both of us know in our hearts that too much has gone on for us to ignore the signs that Allah IN HIS MERCY and GUIDANCE has been sending us - the guidance that we asked for in the first place. My heart trembles at the thought of having asked Allah for guidance and then when it has been given to ignore it because of our own whims, desires and feelings of dissatisfaction at the decision - I just find it such an ungrateful thing to do and it reveals a lack of trust in Allah. I just wish I could get that through to my husband. At the moment he is just wallowing in his despair. Because of his attitude, I am making dua to Allah to make us definitely lose this house because I think my husband will cave in to his yearning and go against all the signs that have come, and I am so worried it will impact negatively on our life.

The question you should ask yourself is - what do you put your ultimate trust in - your feelings or Allah's guidance - it's a no-brainer really isn't it? Please try to look at the positive side of the picture - that you are being saved from something harmful. Put your trust in Allah, be strong and try to let go of your dissatisfaction - trust that something better will come to you instead inshallah.

[Kalobbis]

You are not satisfied because of your own whims and desires. You prayed istikhara and the prayer includes that you will accept the outcome. Trust in Allah - He knows the bigger picture - not you. Feelings and desires can be deceptive especially for us mere mortals who have very limited knowledge and hardly ever get the bigger picture.

My husband is feeling just the same as you right now. For a long time he tried to turn a blind eye to all the obstacles coming in the way of our endeavour (buying a particular house) and making excuses for it to continue. Last night he finally accepted that he knows in his heart that the istikhara is clearly showing this endeavour is problematic and we are trying to pull out now and he said he is devastated. Today he says he is still feeling unhappy and upset. I know the reason for this is that he is obssessed with this house. I told him 4 weeks ago that the signs are all there - one thing after another - it's not going our way. But because he so much wanted it to happen he wouldn't let go and now it is really tricky for us to get out of it at this late stage, when he finally accepted he can't pull the wool in front of his eyes any longer. He is looking at things from a very wordly point of view. He is looking at all the time, effort and money that he has already spent in this endeavour. He is looking at having to go through the whole rigmarole, time, effort into looking for a new place, especially when the type of house we want has been very diificult to find in the first place. All this is just the material aspect of things.

This line of thinking is not really leaving room for God in the whole picture. He also is not in a frame of mind to focus on how we should accept what is happening and be assured that Allah will give us something better in return - after all we asked for Allah's specific help and guidance in the first place. We asked Allah to turn this house away from us if it was not beneficial for us and to make it easy for us if it was - so whilst it is natural to feel upset about losing something that we really want and which seems just right for us, we should be grateful that Allah has guided us. We should be happy to receive a response to our dua. I am actually relieved that we are not going to continue with something that Allah has decided is not for our benefit, no matter how disappointed I am at the personal level at the seeming "loss". The loss is actually our benefit - we may not see or understand how - but we put our trust in Allah because He knows the aparent and the hidden.

And in our case - we made istikhara for the same house 2 years ago and we didn't get it then (not through our decisions but how events turned out) - I was satisfied (though sad) then as well but my husband wasn't and the only reason he "accepted" the outcome was because there was nothing we could do about it - he really wanted the house and it was he who nearly two years later saw that the house was back on the market because he kept on periodically checking on it. First I flat out refused to see the house again because I trusted in the outcome of the istikhara we had done in the first place. But because of his dissatisfaction at the outcome of the first istikhara he started saying things like well maybe we are meant to get it after all and Allah has made it come to our attention again for this reason - "yeah maybe" I thought "or you never let go of your obssession in the first place and this is a test for you now." In the end after bribing me lots and on condition that we would do istikhara again if we still like it we went for it. After obstacles started cropping up - from the get go - I would immediately tell him each time to pull the plug because deep down I still accepted the first istikhara and even though I love the house and it is perfect for us, my heart wasn't in it because of the first istikhara. Well , he being the decision-maker and me starting to think maybe I wasn't giving the house a fair chance this time round led to us just continuing. Now 4 months later in what should have been a quick and straightforward endeavour, even my obssessed husband agrees we should pull the plug on it.

If only he had been satified with the decision the first time around! It would have saved us a lot of trouble, and now because we are so far along in the process, (and he is devastated about giving it up ergo still obssessed ) I am worried that he will be weak and just continue with it when both of us know in our hearts that too much has gone on for us to ignore the signs that Allah IN HIS MERCY and GUIDANCE has been sending us - the guidance that we asked for in the first place. My heart trembles at the thought of having asked Allah for guidance and then when it has been given to ignore it because of our own whims, desires and feelings of dissatisfaction at the decision - I just find it such an ungrateful thing to do and it reveals a lack of trust in Allah. I just wish I could get that through to my husband. At the moment he is just wallowing in his despair. Because of his attitude, I am making dua to Allah to make us definitely lose this house because I think my husband will cave in to his yearning and go against all the signs that have come, and I am so worried it will impact negatively on our life.

The question you should ask yourself is - what do you put your ultimate trust in - your feelings or Allah's guidance - it's a no-brainer really isn't it? Please try to look at the positive side of the picture - that you are being saved from something harmful. Put your trust in Allah, be strong and try to let go of your dissatisfaction - trust that something better will come to you instead inshallah.

I know what you're trying to say but see what my dilemma is that whenever i did the Istikhara i had a feelin that whatever i asked for the feeling went towards a yes (and once i even saw myself in a white dress) but in reality everything is going away from what saw so thats why i am a bit confused...i am doubting no one i am just trying to clear out my confusions so that i don't have jumbled up feelings (that but i saw this and this is happening and all but why?) you know what i am trying to say here? I haven't done anything different from how things are going...but this is what i just wanted to clear out...

[Forex Trading Software]

I was told by my teacher, who is a student when one does an istikhara, it is not for the person to remember the dream and conclude from it a full decision based on it. One should do the method prescribed for istikhara, then, embark on the thing in question. When one sees that the path towards it is easy and flowing through, they should continue with it, but if obstacles arise and it is proving difficult, then one should refrain from following it.

Some of us (speaking mainly about myself) wouldnt know how to interpret a dream and are probably even prone to manipulate our own feelings for the hope we saw a "good" or "bad" dream, which is what I have actually experienced myself, which is why, when told the above from my teacher, everything became much clearer for me.

[Nubtoubrem]

It is an old thread, I hope some of you still hears it so for my guidance.

I had got the istikhara done by mother for the divine guidance towards the confusion; marrying a particular girl. She right then told me the signs & indications that depicted a no-go, but i still went on and married her for we loved each other so much. Initially the marriage went all fine but even from the starting months, each & everything started to change, the peace devastated and the love was on the losing end. Not only the mutuality, the love, the understanding, the care, the compromising promises but almost each aspect went on to be totally vanishing... like the chemistry started to lose us rapidly. We did try to mend ourselves, eagerly and equally, but failed as nothing worked. And now after the three and half year, the situation is terribly, terribly bad.

Not only our marriage, but all other aspects and events of life have totally ruined, and not repaired after hard tries. I'm losing everything else but faith for i try to be a better Muslim by each day. But all other series of events is just like the sister above... I'm astonished if it is the same curse, same punishment of same act; going against istikhata!

What is surprising is, each & every circumstance and situation we face is exactly replicating those signs & indication as were dreamt; *exactly* refers to being almost 100% same.

Worse is, i'm compelled by yet another series of events to consider *divorce* as an option only for the sake of her betterment, even though i'm a god-fearing man knowing that divorce is among the most disliked halal/allowed/permissible acts to my dear Almighty Allah (SWT). But living in my shoes, and facing my circumstances and living the life i live, I am somehow convinced to consider parting out as an option; though still not an escape!

That's the situation as mentioned above. Please guide on this. Now, my questions:

1 - Though I've learnt now that one should must, must follow the indications & signs of istikhara unconditionally. How would you see and establish the matter of following indications of istikhara, like of what importance the religion gives it?

2 - How emphasized would be the refrain of going against istikhara must be?

3 - How would you suggest me to *now follow* the signs, indications & results of that istikhara?

Please, please consider replying as soon as possible, i'm breaking, and losing by each day...

[Anckzxik]

Wow an old thread I forgot all about. Well for an update - two years on an we have been in our new house for about 18 months now. It was NOT the one I mentioned two years ago. Alhamdulillah we let that one go and managed to get another one in a much more straightforward manner. Alhamdulillah we are happy here now, may Allah keep his fazl and karam on us.

The brother above, a lot has happened in your three years. Do istikhara again with the specific endeavor or question you have in mind now

[celddiskend]

It is an old thread, I hope some of you still hears it so for my guidance.

I had got the istikhara done by mother for the divine guidance towards the confusion; marrying a particular girl. She right then told me the signs & indications that depicted a no-go, but i still went on and married her for we loved each other so much. Initially the marriage went all fine but even from the starting months, each & everything started to change, the peace devastated and the love was on the losing end. Not only the mutuality, the love, the understanding, the care, the compromising promises but almost each aspect went on to be totally vanishing... like the chemistry started to lose us rapidly. We did try to mend ourselves, eagerly and equally, but failed as nothing worked. And now after the three and half year, the situation is terribly, terribly bad.

Not only our marriage, but all other aspects and events of life have totally ruined, and not repaired after hard tries. I'm losing everything else but faith for i try to be a better Muslim by each day. But all other series of events is just like the sister above... I'm astonished if it is the same curse, same punishment of same act; going against istikhata!

What is surprising is, each & every circumstance and situation we face is exactly replicating those signs & indication as were dreamt; *exactly* refers to being almost 100% same.

Worse is, i'm compelled by yet another series of events to consider *divorce* as an option only for the sake of her betterment, even though i'm a god-fearing man knowing that divorce is among the most disliked halal/allowed/permissible acts to my dear Almighty Allah (SWT). But living in my shoes, and facing my circumstances and living the life i live, I am somehow convinced to consider parting out as an option; though still not an escape!

That's the situation as mentioned above. Please guide on this. Now, my questions:

1 - Though I've learnt now that one should must, must follow the indications & signs of istikhara unconditionally. How would you see and establish the matter of following indications of istikhara, like of what importance the religion gives it?

2 - How emphasized would be the refrain of going against istikhara must be?

3 - How would you suggest me to *now follow* the signs, indications & results of that istikhara?

Please, please consider replying as soon as possible, i'm breaking, and losing by each day...

The guidance at that time was for a particular situation, I don't think you can go back in time and try to mend it. Its not possible.

I also have had similar story to the OP. It has been well over 5 years since I did the last (of the series) istihkaaras I did. First two were negative. But my heart still remained uneasy so on the recommendation of my friend, I performed Istihkaara for the third time. It was during this third Istihkaara, albeit not a clear dream, I felt there was light at the end of the tunnel. But I guess it was not meant to be. However, I feel 5 years later, I am still not content with the outcome. Perhaps you can say its my ego, whimps and desires. I try my best to overcome it and move on from it all. Yet I am not able to. My question is why? I'm sure there must be an underlying reason. All I can think of is that its one big test. I just ask Allah swt to give me the strength, courage and patience to endure it.

Like you, the first set of dreams have come true. ITs the last one that hasnt but the previous dreams showed this outcome (if that makes sense).

Though I hardly like to rely on dreams. I think one should just perform Istihkaara, make a decision by how strong your feelings are either in positive or negative and then let Allah swt make it easy or place obstacles.

Seeing that your Mom had the negative dreams yet you still married and there were no obstacles to stop you, perhaps this was meant to be??

Before you take any drastic action, I would highly recommend you perform Istihkaara again for this situation. Dont rely on dreams. Just go by how you feel. Make mashwara with the imaam or shayke and let everything fall into place. Most times ppl rush through it, thinking its yes or no but most times you just need to ask for guidance and then Allah swt will guide the situation. Be patient bro.


The above just my own personal opinion based on my own personal experiences. When you want something terribly, your judgement can get clouded. I've done it for numerous other things where I was not fussed if I got it or not, and they have always proven to be of my benefit.

[bingookenoo]

...Seeing that your Mom had the negative dreams yet you still married and there were no obstacles to stop you, perhaps this was meant to be??

Sister, in between the istikhara results and the wedding day, there had been two huge obstacles; the hurdles in our relationshop that could have caused everything but somehow we managed to move on. I'm only at the verge of breaking for it is only me who knew it, I manipulated it in my favor and i went over the then & there signs while totally ignoring them through the while. I have handled it clearly and terribly wrong, I have been regretting and repenting over my such foolishness for a long time now, I can't digest as to how could I just commit such a huge sin. I do agree whatever is happening is purely just, as I deserved it first hand, due to the very seeds I sowed...

I'm not being a sadist or an escapist, I just have to be honest here in order to seek for an honest suggestion.

As I live at Lahore, i'm also considering visiting and consulting the seniors at Jamia Ashrafia, I hope it would also help?

[geka]

happy holidays

[lousy]

here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here