Just relax, and take it easy, see the brighter side of the things, that before you didnt understand the hikmah and wisdom behind the rules of Shariah, but now you have first hand experience that to go against Allah's command actually brings upon harm to our life. So you should be positive, you have knowledge of this with certainty now, And you should change yourlifestyle. CHange your aim in life, it seems your sole aim in life is to get married and find that love of your life, and now he is backing of so you feel your whole life is done. Wakeup from this sleep and dream. Move on, there is much more in life. You have to prepare for your aakhira. MArriage is a need in life, not the aim, Keep asking Allah for a succesfull marriage and work hard for your real goal in life and that is to please Allah. Life is short. Look around yourself in the world, people are going through alot of trouble, some have physical illnesses, and are on their beds for ever, cant move cant do anything. Look at people in somalia, everyday they are going through hunger. Look at people in Syria and palestine, they are oprresed and are not sure when a tyrant soldier will come and rape and kill them. You have time, health, and maybe also wealth. Use it for your betterment. get out of this immature state, just tell the shaitan that fine you like a boy and you made a mistake , but now you have repented and you are moving to the real aim in life and not wasting anymore time in listening his whispers. Break all your contacts with him, think as if he has died, and start your life again, make goals how to improve your Deen and Duniya. Get yourself busy with productive things. And for your physical and emotional needs, ask Allah to make conditions easy for you. Shaitan wants you to be stuck on this matter, makes you feel like a looser, and would love to see you kill yourself . Fine being a virgin is a good thing, but so what if you are not anymore, where does it say that only virgins will be allowed in Jannah.Every women looses virginity, all your mistake was that you just went too fast with it, and did not wait for the right time and right place. And its okay, what matters is, have you learnt your lesson, and are you going to still make the same mistakes or not?. If Allah wills he can bring in a boy in your life who will llove you to death, once again and will marry you. But First , you have to come onto the terms of Allah. Change your lifestyle. Change your priorities in life, get on with the correct business, and inshAllah Allah will make things easy. So if you keep on remembering the boy and your sin , and ignore the rememberance of Allah , then shaitan will keep whispering in you. But if you channel your love emotions from that boy, to Allah . and use your intellect, that your aim in life is to please Allah, then there is hope for you to recover. May Allah help you and change the condition of your heart and make you see the unimportance of that man, your sin, and past actions, and fill you up with the awe and importance of Allah and his obedience and his mercy and correct goals in life.