How To Get a PhD if you are Retarded
 

I hear "agriculture specializing in gender" works pretty well.

http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...milies/lol.gif

I must be missing something.

"The author provides a rather detailed description of the data analysis process used in this study, but does not relate his data analysis strategy to the common and well-known strategies described in the published literature."

So common that few research papers mention it, and those that do won't give a detailed description of their analysis as well (this is an either or thing tard!). So common that he didn't point this out in the draft that I sent him a month ago. So common that the ****ing dean of the school told me to not mention it by name and instead write a detailed description of what I did. http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ilies/bash.gif

He loved my lit review. Everyone did. Besides my methodology is really the only option for this type of study. All he wanted was for me to mention two words that the dean told me to take out. It's obvious what I did. If someone couldn't recognize it then by just putting those two words, they wouldn't know what I was talking about. I'm so looking forward to talking to the dean about this on Monday.

It was alluded to in the analysis. He's just whining about the methods because he's too stupid to understand the analysis.

I bookmarked this thread

Theses can be largely descriptive (critical objective summaries), but should not aim for such. Dissertations are not interested in description beyond that which directly impacts data.

It's very valuable.

Now how to be a successful PhD professor for masters students:

1. Don't do any research (the fewer publications the better. If you have more than 1 paper where you are first author in a ten year span, you are doing it wrong)

2. Network all the time. This makes you look busy. Sure, you are spending half your day at a coffee shop, but as far as everyone else knows, you're in a busy meeting.

3. Kiss up to undergrads. They are young and naive and generally won't see that you're a phony.

4. Pay off grad students. Be the "friend" professor. The David Brent of academics. Host at least one "happy hour" a month.

5. Radically change your research interests on a yearly basis. That way you can always cover up your ignorance by saying that your just getting into the field.

He teaches one class a semester. One of them is an undergrad class, the other is a class for masters students that few enroll in.

As I've never been interested in remaining within the ivory tower, I've not paid much attention to them; however, I've 5 advisors (2 retired but teaching a class or two) who are all accomplished publishers and exceptional teachers. We get to pick our committee.

In my master's, the department found an advisor for each of us (mine was pretty good, an ethnoarchaeologist) but one's advisor need not be a major factor in a largely descriptive study. He supplied some great sources (Netting and Stone).

In my Phd, I've had classes with all of my committee and they have intimate knowledge of my background, work, interests and intentions.

That's a good tip. I'm gonna use it for sure, in some context.

Also, our resident sociopath won a best poster award. http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...milies/mad.gif

I don't know if I'm more jealous of the award or that she's a sociopath.

Sadly, yes. And they are wondering why I won't touch it beyond internship and thesis. Actually, to be fair, I've had a bad experience. Epi is rather interesting. I'd just rather be in policy where the work in more interesting, fulfilling, and pays better.

I wish they did. That would save me from having to go to bars on the weekends.

We can't blame epidemiologists for being sociopaths, or entomologists for being Kurtz.


Good play on the frigid, though.

I thought, 'do whatever KH did.'

To be fair, 90%+ of theses/dissertations are just working for someone, doing what they tell you and writing/documenting it (whether a lab, NGO, government org, etc). There are very few studies that qualify, upon perusal, as "independant".

It sounds as if you need to enjoy bowing down to tha man a bit more, and talking crap at the dean is not likely to help.

Fine, but you sound like a big crybaby. Perhaps you expect too much.