[BluewayAllere]

This song is a journey from start to finish, through a hotel beneath ground, beneath sight. Deep inside, where the ghost, or ghosts, of past love roam. You know when it starts, that you need to go through this song, the process of "learning to let" that person "crash down." But it's not as easy as it seems. "Where are the velvets? When you've coming down."

“I think as you’re getting married, all the loves, even 10-minute loves, are popping up. Hotel was really like feeling like an agent - a spy - in that he was the greatest guy at one time and they were giving me time behind enemy lines. Even though she knows they can’t be lovers because it’s a whole other life, she just can’t let him go.” --Tori Amos

I used to write in this tower when I was an undergrad. The tower was shaped like a big T, so you could actually hear the wind howling around the corner of the building, before it swept past your window. One night, I knew that I had to go through this song and write a poem about the experience. So, I opened all the windows of the room I was in, turned off all the lights, put my headphones on, opened the main window, and sat in the moonlight with my pen and paper ready.

I'll never forget that night. The wind was howling around the corner of the building, I could hear it coming. Just as I pressed play, the music from "Hotel" swirled in my ears and the cold wind rushed around me, making me numb with feeling. The song was the backdrop of an epiphany for me that night and I reached a new level of understanding that I didn't have before. I wrote a poem about love and independence and found many realizations that night, and of course, many since.

"Give me More" the line is piercing, especially with the music swirling around it.

Hotel and Jackie's Strength
In "Hotel" and "Jackie's Strength" she is singing the same line, but the contrast lies in who she is singing the line to. In "Jackie's Strength" she wants a man to give her *everything*, the man she is going to marry, the man walking towards her.

In "Hotel" she wants "more" from the man who is leaving, a man who is turning into a ghost, a man walking away from her.

The Ghost in "Hotel"
There is always one ghost of a past love that stands out from the others in your life. When I hear this song, I see that ghost as the center. But sometimes, other ghosts of past loves sweep through. You know you "want more", but you also know that you have "to learn" to let that person crash down. You have to learn to let it go. Let the love go.

From the Choirgirl Hotel
From the Choirgirl Hotel, as an album title, always seemed to indicate that Tori was a metaphorical "hotel" for her songs, her choirgirls. In "Hotel" she met him in a hotel "beneath ground," a hidden place inside, a place that is like a hotel because they can leave, or *you* can. Memories shelved for later.

Letting you crash down
And as you're letting go, you realize that this person may just be "the biggest thing there'll be this year." Maybe what you're seeking isn't here. The kiss was the moment, a moment of pure contact, but you also met them in a "guess world." Just as the love was blooming, you weren't sure if it was really there. Your life plan wasn't prepared. "Guessed anyone but you."

The music that opens the second section of "give me more" sends chills up my spine every time. My parents, who despise Tori, heard this part pour out of our car's speakers from a mix tape that I had made and stopped talking. And we all just sat and listened.

But "where are the velvets" when you're coming down? Why can't it be easy? The letting go? Why can't it be smooth?

Still Alive
But you get out, you leave the feeling --and you get out alive. At the end of the song, I always picture a breathtaking getaway, either your heart sweeping out of a dark wood, or a car tearing out of an unmapped part of the city onto the freeway. You breathe with relief and realize that you're still alive. Your body is instinctually breathing, life still has possibility. There is a path in front of you, not just behind you. And you realize that the future does exist and you can find hope and love in it.

A live version that is fantastic. Piano notes before the "Give me More" parts, and soaring with feeling and strength.