[ChrisGoldstein]

Why can't you stay a redactor?

Go visit your doctor and talk with him. He might be able to refer you to a psychologist. Just a few good talks with him could clear up a lot. If there is something much deeper then just a post-grad dip (which I doubt), he can refer you further.

Kick fear in the balls! It doesn't deserve less.

Merry christmas, Wernezuma

[Aaron757]

Originally posted by germanos
Why can't you stay a redactor? My boss wants it to be a job for masters who need to fund their doctorate. Lectorate is one of the possibilities I'm thinking about changing to, instead of grassroot investigation, but as I've said: I'm not yet ready to cut my academic ties with my institute.

Go visit your doctor and talk with him. He might be able to refer you to a psychologist. Just a few good talks with him could clear up a lot. If there is something much deeper then just a post-grad dip (which I doubt), he can refer you further.

Kick fear in the balls! It doesn't deserve less.

Merry christmas, Wernezuma Thanks for cheering me up, I'm really considering visiting a doctor.

[tq4F7YKs]

Wern, if it's depression, what it seems being, just remember, that things seem worthless, without value, including yourself, there's no future in anything, no possibility for happiness, just more the same or possibly just worse... this angle can change quick to the opposite. Where you once saw a possibility to fail, you see a possibility to succeed or at least enjoy yourself. All these uncertainties fall into a much healthier place, where dealing with them is easier and you have much more positive emotions. Then you wonder how the hell did you feel so bad about things earlier.

I guess you know all this already. But my point is, the upswing that seems to be so far away, might be just around the corner. So, this is to say, that never give up.

[StoyaFanst]

Depression is a very common disorder, and I have suffered from it at many points throughout my life and can cast a black cloud over everything. Seek help, because it isn't your fault. And don't dismiss medication...I have had nothing but good results from Prozac and no side effects, so it is nice having a magic bullet that I can use whenever the problem recurs.

Of course there have been triggering factors though, my interminable celibacy has dogged me throughout my adult life and despite recent efforts and advances in dealing with it, I'm still no closer to a relationship. That is like a ticking clock that will eventually drag me down until I have to deal with it again. Apart from that my life is going well, but it is always the one thing in your life that drags me down. Although my career and life is going well, the thought of going on with the rest of my life alone doesn't get easier with age. And sometimes ignorance is bliss.

[RobsShow]

Pray... It's easy to humble yourself when you are already humbled. God helped me, he can help you.

[truportodfa]

I know in the winter, I feel like stepping in front of a bus. I hate winter. I wouldn't step in front of a bus, I said I felt like stepping in front of a bus.

[RokeIdeadioke]

Originally posted by Wernazuma III
So there I am, a recently married fresh PhD with a great wife and two gorgeous kids How horrible. :sad:

[RadcliffXX]

Well done

[gnusnich]

Depression isn't real. Tom Cruise says so, and I think he knows crazy.

[Fhgzmftq]

You're not the only one with a post graduation black hole, Werna

I don't have a depression and I'm not particularly unhappy (neither am I happy). Still, I've no idea what to do with my life now. There's no ambition in me, and I'm the laziest person I know... I sleep until noon (or later) and I'm never in the mood for anything, except drinking, watching or playing football, etcetera. In short: amusement.

I don't want to indulge in self-misery either, so I'll not elaborate. Life would be simpler for me if I were much dumber, or... much smarter

As for you, it seems you still have family you can depend on. In the long run that'll undoubtedly be a solid mainstay for you.

[freeringtonesioo]

I saw no indication that she was about to leave. Besides women won't leave their husbands too quickly if they have two kids.

[BundEnhamma]

Luckily, my wife is rather hard-headed and steady. Her laconic reaction to my emotional outburst was something along the line "I know why I chose you". So, I'm not afraid that she'll leave me anytime soon, unless my depression deepens over a year or so and my innate jealousy (which is completely independent from her actions) rises correlatingly. My major concern in this moment is trying not to cling or control, trying to routinize family life.

asleepathewheel: I can only hope that Asher doesn't see the thread, telling me I should have studied something useful.

[allemnendup]

Weltanschauung is a drag.


Cheer yourself up listening to 'Gloomy Sunday', Nico's live version of the Doors' 'The End' and then watch a Fassbinder film.

Top it off with Goethe's 'Young Werther', and like me, you'll be happy as Larry.


Seriously, I always find that gloomy music and gloomy art acts a little like vaccinations for depression.

A touch of Billie Holiday, some Edvard Munch or Van Gogh, it all helps.


My very best wishes for an uplift in your sagging spirits.

[Hervams]

OK, so here's my situation after Christmas.
I thought I'd get over it as quickly as I fell into the hole, but I don't. I think my wife is part of the problem. At the same time I have my issues she started to frequently contact a colleague (female), talking basically about her "self". So, while I'm in deep ****, she's on an enlightenment trip trying to figure out the sense of life. She assures me that it's not about us, and I honestly believe that she doesn't talk about our issues, being more concentrated on her own personality and about her gradfather, who is in hospital and whom she contacted after 12 years of mutual ignorance (difficult issue). But it makes me mad. It starts with a long email at 8am, continues over about a dozen or more SMS over the day and ends with another lengthy email, consuming totally about 2h+ a day. Add this to my previously described personal problem. It's not how I envisioned my holidays, it's not how I expected things would return to normal. I'm sick, I have no idea how to get trough this.

[BloofPailafum]

Originally posted by Wernazuma III
I'm sick, I have no idea how to get trough this. Seriously (although my previous reply was serious too) regular exercise is part of an antidote for depression- whether it involves going to the gym, swimming, a long walk, hiking up a mountain or skiing.

How far are you from mountains ?

There's a reason the English Romantic poets and the Continental Romantic painters liked mountains and Alpine scenery- like the sea, the awesome presence of raw nature takes you out of yourself.

Give it a try.

[ariniaxia]

Originally posted by Wernazuma III


Yes, I just come back from a long walk and I'll go skiing with my wife the day after tomorrow. I honestly hope this helps. I'm desperate. Do consider a course of mild anti-depressants, and don't forget that chocolate contains mood uplifting chemicals.

Shouldn't be too hard to find good quality chocolate in Austria at Christmas.


Best of luck in all your efforts, old chum.

[tabcdyop]

Hi again everone who cares.

Here's my final report on my psychological state in this thread:

The good news: Life is back to almost normal by now.
I got offered psychological therapeutical help by one really nice Poly member who read this thread. Finally, I didn't feel it to be the way I wanted to handle the situation, but again: Thank you for reaching out your hand, it was the starting point for me to make more active steps to solving the crisis.
So, I went to see a doctor, who prescribed me a "selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor" early in January. After some 10 days, my mood got better.
Additionally, on Jan.7, my wife's grandfather could go home (with 24h care), so ever since she visits him 1-2x/week, which is completely acceptable to me. Her psycho-colleague is still around but contact has been reduced to a normal level, so her ego-trip is within some boundaries. I think it helped that I didn't keep my mouth shut about the problems I have, so we could work out a compromise where everyone's needs are addressed.

As a third step, I decided to get a new perspective job-wise, supported both by my wife and my "boss" at university. I'm now taking up studies again, with pedagogical formation and Geography as a second subject, becoming a teacher. This should take me no longer than 5 semesters, since I already have a History PhD...
I'm not abandoning my institute completely but will finance myself by assisting a project on POWs in Early Modern Europe on a 10h/week basis, allowing me to survive this period and to remain in pipe for habilitation.

[peveballery]

Well done and welcome back, sir!

[jeockammece]

IMO, depression is something you definitely need professional help with. There's a lot of different meds they can prescribe for you if some don't work. Also, studies have shown the magic mushrooms cure depression. Have you tried them lately?