[Hoglaunccoolf]

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi t3ala Wabarakatuhu,

I have many friends who aren't very religious, and during our conversations, they will sometimes tell me about relationships
with guys, and stuff they did which I know aren't encouraged in Islam, and sometimes they'll show me videos from youtube
which contain music and stuff, so I try not to say or do anything non-religious from my side, but when they are doing it, I dont
exactly stop them, like if they send me a video with music, I'll say "im sorry this has music so Im closing it", and sometimes they'll tell me about
their conversations with a guy, and I'll laugh with them and stuff (because I dont know what to say), but I wont talk about such stuff myself,
so sometimes thoughts come to my mind that what if Im being sinned for not stopping them from forbidden stuff? I try not to preach too much because
I don't want to scare them away or you know annoy them, so in the middle of the conversation I'll say one or two preachy things,
but not too much, Im not saying I'm better than them or anything, Im just confused, because I obviously want my friends to be on the
right path, but I dont know how to encourage them and stop them from bad. Do I get sinned from talking to them? or not stopping them?
I would love for them to stop but how do I help them?

Also some of my friends will talk bad about teachers or some of their friends who I know too and thats basically gheebah, and Ive tried
to stop the conversation, but sometimes they dont get it, and they continue, so I like move the phone away from my hear, go hmmm, then
again move it away until they are done, I dont mean to be rude, but I dont have much good deeds myself, I really dont want to give the
very few I do have, and then I dont want to annoy the friend either, so I end up doing that,but sometimes I dont feel like right....what should I do?

I hope you don't think I'm trying to be goody-two shoes, or that I think I'm better than them, Im pretty sure they are a lot better than me,
Im just trying to stay away from what I can without hurting them, and afraid of being sinned by not stopping them...
Jazakumullah t3ala khairan

[GreefeWrereon]

wa Alaikum asSalaam Warahmatullahi t3ala Wabarakatuhu,

I can relate to what you mentioned as I often go through the same thing. I think it's more important to make sure you protect yourself from sin and then worry about da'wah. I realized these type of friends respect you for being "religious" but at the same time are not "into" religion so much. If these friends are keep you from getting nearer to Allah ta 'ala or even more importantly, make you slip into sinning, then you should slowly cut off ties. No one is perfect but we all have to try our best to attain the pleasure of Allah ta 'ala. It's more important to keep ties with Allah ta 'ala than these friends who somewhat reject Him. May He guide us all.

[lymnCymment]

wa Alaikum asSalaam Warahmatullahi t3ala Wabarakatuhu,

I can relate to what you mentioned as I often go through the same thing. I think it's more important to make sure you protect yourself from sin and then worry about da'wah. I realized these type of friends respect you for being "religious" but at the same time are not "into" religion so much. If these friends are keep you from getting nearer to Allah ta 'ala or even more importantly, make you slip into sinning, then you should slowly cut off ties. No one is perfect but we all have to try our best to attain the pleasure of Allah ta 'ala. It's more important to keep ties with Allah ta 'ala than these friends who somewhat reject Him. May He guide us all.

yeah becuz bad company usually has its effects ........... u will be raised with whom you love ....so ...... just stay firm on taqwa

[Aleenkagirlla]

Wa'alaikum salaam wrwb sis,

I think most people who take deen seriously have had these problems. If you have tried to tell your friends that they shouldn't backbite and shouldn't talk to guys etc etc and your words are not having any affect, then it is best for you to protect yourself and find better friends. It is so easy to be negatively influenced by others, especially if they are 'friends' because you are more likely to have your guard down. If, however, you feel that the things you say are having some impact, I wouldn't cut them off completely, just limit interaction to what you feel is safe in terms of feeling that they are not negatively influencing you, and when you do see them then maintain the same stances you have been doing and make plenty of du'a for them, inshaAllah they will change, it just takes some time.

[rootoronpunty]

Think of it this way: If you were a mother and your daughter was going through the same thing that you are, then what advice would you give her? And what do you think would be the best thing for her to do?

[sat23neus2]

Run from these people. Unless your iman is exceptionally strong, they will drag you down to their level. Meet with them occasionally for da'wah purposes, but that's it. Keep yourself busy with deeni and dunyawi studies, so if they ask you to hang out, you have a real reason to say no.

[MeatteCen]

Run from these people. Unless your iman is exceptionally strong, they will drag you down to their level. Meet with them occasionally for da'wah purposes, but that's it. Keep yourself busy with deeni and dunyawi studies, so if they ask you to hang out, you have a real reason to say no.

Excellent advice, mashaa Allah, may Allah ta'aala sharpen your understanding of deen.

The negative influence of irreligious friends cannot be understated. This should suffice:

The company of the pious is better than good deeds, and the company of evildoers is worse than evil deeds.

Several mashaaikh of tasawwuf have written articles on NOT keeping too wide a social circle, having close "sit-down-and-chit-chat-type" friends who indulge in haram and don't mind doing some anti-da'wah to you are an absolute no-no.

can some1 please post the articles written by our buzrugs on the catastrophic consequences of bad company? I completely cant seems to find them at the moments...

Jazakallah

[Blolover11]

Unless you are a charismatic person yourself, they will drag you down. You will become like them few years down the line. So in your situation, you have to find better friends.

[sueplydup]

Run from these people. Unless your iman is exceptionally strong, they will drag you down to their level. Meet with them occasionally for da'wah purposes, but that's it. Keep yourself busy with deeni and dunyawi studies, so if they ask you to hang out, you have a real reason to say no.

@talibz.
The above is pretty good advice. Its totally true, before you get to change those type of friends they change you.... unless you are VERY firm in your imaan and deen.

But with friends you can still cut-off or limit your time with them. With family you can't. This often happens with some of my totally non-religious cousins. In that situation the best thing to do is change the subject as soon as you see it going in that direction - you don't have to make it seem rude or abrupt, just make a random comment about something else and slowly steer the conversation away from those lines. Or if you're already too deep in the topic, make it a joke. Just say: "Okay, please spare me the gory details, i have a super sensitive tummy and heart!"... or "I'll actually pay you to avoid this subject, that's how desperate i am not to hear it!"
Sooner or later they'll get the idea that you don't want to hear and discuss those things .

[Chooriwrocafn]

im in a similar situation

whenever i see there do haram i try telling them what you are doing is bad etc. overtime i may tell them off and then they dont practice some haram around me.
if i was to go out with them id sometimes lay down the rules such as im only going to go out after iv prayed isha at mosque etc. so whenever they want to have a day out with me, they would acknowledge the fact im only going to go out after isha so then they would arrange their day according to this. in other words id get them to agree on a few things before going out with them, which they dont mind.

so you could try giving your friends dawah over time and they may adjust.

[BakerBonce]

As salam alaykum wa raghmatulahi wa barakatuh
The believer most have around him only believers as friends , to keep his faith and somebody who can guide him to good. To say good, to do good and to act good. Somebody with who he can feel secure about his religion, about his faith......... As Mohammed (Salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said: " Make only believer as friend and make food for only the good Muslim." Other Hadeeth say " Person has character of his companions, so look who is your company".

[Hoglaunccoolf]

Wa alaikumussalam warahmatullahi t3ala wabarakatuhu
and jazakumullah t3ala ahsanal jaza for all the advice, alhamdulillah t3ala I found everything helpful.
The reason why I still talk to them is because they are my friends, and I want them to change too, so I used
to literally talk to them so that I could advice them a little here and there, because I remember she didnt recite
Quran, so I talked her into it, then she started to recite a little daily. The backbiting part, I guess they dont realize it.
These friends are from my past and school life (muslims though), alhamdulillah t3ala at the moment I have my madrassah,
classmates, my books, teachers as my good company, but I'm worried for the future my environment won't be as religious
as now, and I don't want to be affected by it, and you cant avoid non-religious people...

Finding good company is as difficult as finding black ants on a black sheet in the night...

[avarberickibe]

Waalaikumsalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

People will only change if Allah (swt) wills it. If you positively encourage them to do good then that's obviously a good thing, but may Allah (swt) give them the strength to carry these good deeds out and guide them back to the right path. Even with the best of intentions, you, yourself, as a person, cannot change another, no matter how painful it is to watch your close ones fall victim to Shaytaan's trap.

I'm going to be 15 years old in a couple months. We're just part of the age group where people form their own opinions and decide they want to rebel, I guess. I know what you're talking about, and I definitely know the excuses some Muslims come out with, lol. I try my best to give dawah whenever I can. When some of my Muslim friends invite me to take part in activities that are obviously un-Islamic, I refuse and give my reasons. This gives an opportunity for Islamic discussion, and leads to my friends thinking over their actions. However, I find some of my friends abstaining from bad acts but then slowly floating back to evil again. If they haven't got the motivation, then that's it. That's what most people need to work on. It's up to them and Allah (swt) whether or not they stay on the righteous path.

[Hoglaunccoolf]

Waalaikumsalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

People will only change if Allah (swt) wills it. If you positively encourage them to do good then that's obviously a good thing, but may Allah (swt) give them the strength to carry these good deeds out and guide them back to the right path. Even with the best of intentions, you, yourself, as a person, cannot change another, no matter how painful it is to watch your close ones fall victim to Shaytaan's trap.

I'm going to be 15 years old in a couple months. We're just part of the age group where people form their own opinions and decide they want to rebel, I guess. I know what you're talking about, and I definitely know the excuses some Muslims come out with, lol. I try my best to give dawah whenever I can. When some of my Muslim friends invite me to take part in activities that are obviously un-Islamic, I refuse and give my reasons. This gives an opportunity for Islamic discussion, and leads to my friends thinking over their actions. However, I find some of my friends abstaining from bad acts but then slowly floating back to evil again. If they haven't got the motivation, then that's it. That's what most people need to work on. It's up to them and Allah (swt) whether or not they stay on the righteous path.

Your very right about this, jazakumullah t3ala ahsanal jaza.
I guess I need to make lots and lots of duas for them too.